Five Years

On New Year's Day it will be five years since we moved into this home. Five years is usually a pretty short timeframe in the course of a life, but oh what a five years it has been for our family.

Five years ago I was six months pregnant with our first baby. I said it was nice to move while pregnant because I wasn't allowed to carry anything heavy, but it was really annoying to not be able to do much. But we were so excited to settle into our little home and get ready for the start of our family.

Generally speaking, we planned to be in our home about five years. By then, I figured, we'd have two kids and this house would be at full capacity. Five years, and three kids, later, all I can say is Ha! to all of our careful plans. Life being what it is, I don't think we're going anywhere anytime soon. And I really feel like this is where we need to be right now.

Life in a small house is what it is. I think carefully before buying toys for the kids: where would we put that? I hate clutter, and alas, I am a cluttery person. We have very few places to just stash things away, no extra drawers or closets for odds and ends. It's all out there, every day.

But I also know that a bigger house = more housework. Some days I like to think we're at the vanguard of the small house movement. Who needs all that space anyway? The more space you have, the more junk you buy to fill it up. And who needs all that stuff? People in big cities get by with a small fraction of the space I have. People in other countries would find my house spacious. Why do I feel so picked on for having a small space?

I know why: It's my kitchen. I finally realized why mealtimes are so stressful lately. My kitchen is small, and it's tile, and no curtains or textiles of any kind to absorb sound. It's basically an echo chamber where my family gathers at the end of a long day, everyone loudly needing something, thirty seconds ago. I love to cook, but my kitchen is the one room in my house that I feel is unlivable. I hate feeling claustrophobic in my home.

So, I'm happy for now, but please don't tell me I have to live here forever. Sorry this post is a downer. Today was kind of an awful day.

So. Five years. It's been happier, and sadder, and more full of frustration and joy than I ever could have conceived of five years ago. And now, on to what's to come.